The Golden Girls - Season 4 -

Freeze frame on Dorothy’s long-suffering face.

I knew it. That necklace is the only thing in this house with a more dubious past than Blanche’s datebook. Act Two: The Living Room. Later.

Ah. Bribery. Now we’re speaking my language. The Golden Girls - Season 4

Suddenly, SOPHIA stands up on her chair, grabs the microphone from the bandleader, and points at JULIAN.

(admiring herself in the mirror): This necklace is destiny. Tonight, a wealthy, handsome widower will see the ruby, think “confidence,” and buy me a piña colada. Freeze frame on Dorothy’s long-suffering face

Girls, I have a situation. A romantic, tragic, deeply Southern situation.

The camera pans over the familiar, wicker-filled kitchen. SUNLIGHT streams in. ROSE is at the counter, painstakingly separating a bowl of colorful jelly beans into tiny piles by flavor. Act Two: The Living Room

(to Eddie) You fool. You absolute fool. We have a Sicilian, a Norwegian who once argued with a gravy boat, and a Southern belle who has outmaneuvered three husbands and countless city inspectors. You never stood a chance. Final Scene: The Kitchen. Late Night.

I’ll drink to that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to call the Rusty Anchor and tell that handsome bass player that I am no longer a fugitive. And that I am, once again, open for business.