The Evil Cult English Dub Official

The film opens in the . Monks are practicing kung fu in slow motion. A gong sounds.

"Ah, young Zhang Wuji. You have trained here for... checks script ...three paragraphs. Your father and mother were killed by... the bad people." the evil cult english dub

"Jokes on you! I have the Dragon Saber! It shoots... checks prop ...a laser? Sure. A red laser." The film opens in the

Suddenly, the attacks. They wear purple robes and mascara. Their leader, The Purple-Haired Matron (dubbed by someone who clearly just finished a cigarette), floats down on a wire. "Ah, young Zhang Wuji

"Ugh... my chi... has left my body... to go on vacation..."

"Mister Wuji. You have come to die. But first, let me explain my master plan... which I forgot. Something about... revenge? No, wait. World domination? Eh, you'll figure it out."

They fight. The sound effects are stock library punches ( WHAP! THUD! SQUEAKY TOY NOISE ). The monk loses.