When Sasha finds him, she doesn’t see a meal. She sees a loophole.

They find each other in the margins of a classified ad that doesn't exist. We live in an era of "situationships" and vague dating profiles. We swipe left on people who like pineapple pizza. And yet, here is a film that argues for radical honesty in connection.

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person is not a horror movie about death. It is a rom-com about the unbearable lightness of choosing to live, even when you are dead.

Have you seen this? Does the title make you uncomfortable or curious? Tell me I’m not alone in crying over a goth teenager and a girl who sparkles in the dark (but not in a Twilight way).

You expect nihilism. You expect Only Lovers Left Alive meets Heathers . But what you get is the most awkward, chaste, and gentle "getting to know you" montage in horror history.

Go find it. It’s on MUBI in most regions. Bring tissues. Leave your cynicism at the door.

Enter Paul. A lonely, profoundly depressed teenager who has just been stood up (again) and is looking for a way to exit the stage of his own life.

Sasha doesn't kill Paul. She keeps making excuses. "It’s a school night." "The moon is wrong." "You haven't finished your fries."

There is a sentence you never expect to read, and then there is that sentence.

Humanist Vampire. (I have a strict moral code, even in my hunger.) Seeking. (I am lonely. I am looking for you.) Consenting Suicidal Person. (I am terrified of causing pain. I need you to tell me it’s okay.)

But the genius of the film is that Paul isn't actually looking for death. He is looking for a reason not to die. And Sasha isn't looking for a meal. She is looking for permission to exist without guilt.

It is the funniest, saddest, most romantic Rorschach test I have ever seen. The premise is simple: Sasha is a vampire. She has a problem. She is cripplingly, painfully empathetic. Unlike her boisterous, bloodthirsty family, she cannot bring herself to hunt. The sight of a human’s fear, the sound of their pulse spiking—it makes her physically ill. She is, for all intents and purposes, a vampire with a panic disorder.