Father Ted Acceptance Speech Script (1080p)

I have to mention Father Dougal McGuire. He’s sitting over there – no, Dougal, that’s a coat rack . There he is. Dougal thinks I won an award for "being able to turn the telly on without using the remote." I haven’t corrected him. He’s very proud.

I’d like to thank Bishop Brennan. Not for any particular reason – just in case he’s watching. [Looks around nervously.] No offence, Your Grace. Lovely vestments. Very... shiny. father ted acceptance speech script

What is this supposed to be, by the way? Is it a man holding a lamp? Or a lamp holding a man? I’ll put it next to the toilet – that’s where we keep all our best things. I have to mention Father Dougal McGuire

First off, I’d like to thank the judging panel. That’s... brave of you. I saw the other nominees. Fantastic work altogether. Especially that fella who invented the self-warming ecumenical hot water bottle. Genius. And I lost to him in the cake competition once. So this is... unexpected. Dougal thinks I won an award for "being

Anyway. Thank you very much. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and stop Dougal from trying to "return" the award for store credit.

Right. Well... thank you.

I wasn’t expecting this. No, really – I actually had a speech prepared for losing. It was much shorter. Just said, "Fair play," and sat down. So you’ll have to bear with me.